i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
