I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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