how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
