Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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