So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
