I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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