i think my tv is drunk
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
