Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Can Purell be used as lube?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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