that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I need water and some morals
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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