Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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