just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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