winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
