I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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