From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
