Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
