Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
