Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
