I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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