Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
