And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
