you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
