I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
