Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
