He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
