I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
