Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
