So drunk its hurt
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
