I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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