Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
