So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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