ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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