At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
