4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
