Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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