you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
