Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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