If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
