Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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