In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
