he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Randomize
