By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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