He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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