ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
