does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
