not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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