absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
