I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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