do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
