You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
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I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
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It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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