I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize