yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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