he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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