Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I need to sanitize my soul.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
