Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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