New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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