so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
