ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
