sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
